Looking on the Bright Side of a Relationship

Did you know that your brain naturally looks for negative things, and not positive? This can be especially apparent when you're in a relationship. While you may notice lots of great qualities about the other person (cute smile, active in church, good job), your natural tendency is to first notice their flaws ("bad" skin, annoying laugh, troubled past), the things that you perceive would make your relationship or future relationship fail. We shared a Forbes article by Dr. Loretta Breuning on our Facebook account recently that highlights some different things you can do to train yourself to focus on positive things more often than not. In summary, here's what it said:

  1. Spend one minute, 3x a day noticing, thinking, and only saying positive things about your life or the person you're with. Do this for an extended period of time (21 days makes a habit, right?) and you can help your brain look on the bright side more instinctively.

  2. Be conscious about your relationship intent and choices. Don't let yourself get swept up in someone else's agenda. When you feel in control of how you're feeling, you will be empowered and happier with your situation.

  3. Reset your expectations if they have become unrealistic. No, an average guy is not going to send you flowers every week, and your average girl will not want to play 5+ hours of Mario Kart with you, so give them a break!

  4. Be aware of when your date does things that you like or when you have fun together and WRITE THOSE THINGS DOWN. It'll help you remember how you felt in a good moment if you start to doubt or feel negative.